I had already made up my mind to not take any “unappointment” calls from my friend Eddy, considering his antecedents. His call that yesterday evening was potentially nothing but utter mischief; the timeliness and circumstance suggested that he wanted to gloat. He’s an avid Arsenal supporter, pretty much annoying at doing that. And all I wanted to do, was to bury myself in dinner preparation. But as my mischief-personified friend’s call persisted I decided to take it, albeit up in arms.
“so what else is news? Chelsea lost to Arsenal, what else?” I roared.
“calm down Amara, haba. Chelsea tried their best but…..
“but their best was only good enough to win Arsenal the FA cup, abi?” I cut in.
“not necessarily, but the better side just had to win…..
“exactly! What else did you call for asides offering your condolences?” I barked,
“to tell you not to allow today’s match upset you, and to blow you my warmest kiss” he reeled off.
“received and appreciated, now run along” I answered.
“my regards to your husband” he said. I could sense that he was trying to stifle a laugh.
“thanks, I’ll let him know” I said.
“Amy, one more thing, why does Lampard keep playing Christensen though?”
“you know what Eddy? Fuck off!”.
Eddy, my former classmate turned friend, in our Lagos Business School (LBS) days, is witty and silly and mischievous and loving at the same time, and oh also intelligent, I know this because I am all of that and more. We grew from acquaintances to friends, only when we realised that the only thing we ever agreed on was, that Ghanaian jollof rice was better that Nigerian’s. Asides a few behavioural similarities, Eddy and I are diametrically opposed in our political, social and religious views, that has never posed a problem though, if anything, it has been the bedrock of our friendship. He chooses to call only when it was sure to hit my nerve. Our sort of friendship was quite quirky.
That evening, I wasn’t in the headspace to analyse everything that failed to go right with Chelsea’s shambolic performance at the Emirates stadium, nor was I ready to overthink what in my opinion, was Lampard’s lacklustre technique, I mean, playing Zouma, Rudiger and Christensen at the back, wasn’t and has never been convincing enough to me, but hey, what do I really know? The referee on duty, Anthony Taylor, appeared to be determined to hit Chelsea’s jugular; with a penalty already in our kitty, Pulisic the obvious star of the game limping off the pitch with an hamstring injury, and the ousted Kovacic, the stage was already set. And I ask, couldn’t he have tried to be a little humane? WTH? With the double whammy of one man and one goal down, the equation was already in place for a complete showdown. Take nothing away from the Arsenal side, Aubameyang is the real class act, a born goal scorer who delivers a stunner whenever it mattered, and he did just that yesterday. Truth is, I wasn’t in a foul mood merely because of Chelsea’s loss, I mean they’ve recorded quiet a ton of losses this season, and yours truly I’ve lost count, but because I believe they had all it took to beat Arsenal if tact on Lampard’s part and fair play on the referee’s part, were duly deployed. Eddy’s call had elicited the aggressor vibe in me. He was ready to yap endlessly about Chelsea’s actions and inactions if I hadn’t yanked him off the line, dude talks nine to a dozen.
But just when I thought I had shooed ‘Eddy the loose cannon’ off, a resident loose cannon, a.k.a husbandman, was on hand to throw in the last straw, which brings me to the realization that there are creatures with extremely weird disloyalty streak. This man to whom I’m married, hitherto was a Chelsea supporter, at least so he made me believe. As I turned to grief with him over what was supposedly a mutual loss, voila, he was celebrating Arsenal’s FA cup win. I was and still shocked at the ease of such flawless switch, I mean how do people not learn to be proper?. Well, I know a patriotic man, he is not my husband and my husband is definitely not him.
P.S: dear Eddy, I know you’ll stroll in on this piece, as I know you normally do. Be aware that my opinion about you from the jump, has not changed, you still are silly, a silly darling. In fact, after an elaborate consideration, your wife and I have agreed that you are currently evolving into a more sophisticated silly version of yourself, how true is that? By the way, congrats to your team Arsenal, and a bigger congrats to Arteta, he sure know his onions.
